Astrology is one of the key tools in my mental health arsenal that has provided me language to process my experiences of madness as well as my more subtle daily intuitions and impulses. For instance, moving along my healing journey, I have becoming increasingly aware of how much I gravitate towards the uncomfortable, the unknown and unknowable, the taboo, ostracized, and stigmatized subjects. It takes more effort for me to exchange superficial pleasantries than it is be vulnerable, go deep, and have meaningful conversations. I’d rather break bread with strangers and share our deepest fears, most pressing curiosities, biggest regrets, and most weighty aspirations than talk about the weather. I am a compulsive oversharer. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me for being so eager to talk about things that are controversial and unconventional, so willing to talk about the most intimate aspects of my life like my mental illness and ever evolving sexuality, politics, and spirituality. As an artist I love a finished product, but I am more interested in sharing my process, my journey, my trials as well as my triumphs. What’s with that? Well, my Scorpio North Node in the 3rd House has provided me with some compelling clarity.
The sign of Scorpio is about diving into deep, black waters of the unknown and discovering what treasure lies at the bed of the ocean. In the 3rd House, this energy is channeled into the realm of communication, learning, and interpersonal relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and community members. This astrological placement validates my pursuit of writing, research, and art-making, particularly in the realm of racial inequalities, birth work, and mental illness. It helps explain my comfort with discussing topics like death and altered states of consciousness. Sometimes I feel isolated for wanting to talk about things that some would consider uncouth. However, I continue to exercise the muscle of vulnerability in using my voice because I know my words can create more trust, awareness, and understanding about the experiences of people who have been silenced.
The point of this Scorpio North Node 3rd House energy is transformation and ushering in change requires bravery to speak our truth and communicate what most compels us. The more I inhabit the world with my propensities and with the words I desire to share, the more I have to fight my inner demons that try to silence me. Despite the lies that demean the value of my contributions, when I speak, more often than not I learn that someone needed to hear or read my word as well as see someone they identify with reflect their experiences. Sometimes I feel like I am speaking into the void, but usually someone steps out of their silence to acknowledge my message because it resonates with their experience and it creates the opportunity for connection.
I hope as I continue to write this blog, I will strengthen the muscle endowed by this North Node energy pointing me in the directing of my calling. Especially as I continue my journey in academia, it feels tempting to want to retreat to my South Node in Taurus proclivities for comfort, simplicity, and safety. But I’ve found that I actually feel more aligned and at ease when I take the risk in sharing my truth. At least astrology has confirmed that there is nothing wrong with me. The way I think and communicate is just one of the many traits that makes me Queer. And this was not my choice; it’s by design and I give credit to the stars!
Do you know your North Node? If not, you can find out what is here.
How do you make sense of your compulsions and calling?
Image Description: A glowing aqua blue scorpion and the sign of Scorpio against a black and indigo blue starry background.