Madness & Single Motherhood

I think people assume that those of us with a “severe” mental health diagnosis would be the ones in need of caretaking instead of the ones doing the primary caregiving. But here I find myself, almost three years postpartum, a single mom and a mad one at that. When I started my journey as aContinue reading “Madness & Single Motherhood”

Mad Love: Don’t Say You Can’t Live Without Me

When I was younger, I thought phrases like “I can’t live without you,” “You are my world,” and “You give me purpose” were romantic. Codependency was the central ingredient to what I thought was the most beautiful love story. Forbidden Love. Us Against The World. Your Ride or Die. These were all the chapter titlesContinue reading “Mad Love: Don’t Say You Can’t Live Without Me”

Meditations on Mad Love: Using Lessons from Polyamory as a Roadmap

I have been thinking a lot about love lately and the importance of unlearning certain cultural scripts about how love should be, including it being only between a man and a woman or monogamous. While we have witnessed great strides towards openness and equality in who and how we love, I am still challenged byContinue reading “Meditations on Mad Love: Using Lessons from Polyamory as a Roadmap”

Graduation SZN | Part 2 – The Tarot Edition

It’s truly remarkable how quickly one’s life can change in the span of a few days or weeks. If I had to pick a tarot card to sum up my life since my last Graduation SZN post in May, I would choose The Tower. The Tower card emerges when monumental life events disrupt our mundaneContinue reading “Graduation SZN | Part 2 – The Tarot Edition”

Sexuality & Bipolar: The Pride Edition

Living with bipolar for a decade has obliterated all my preconceived notions about the human capacity for love, lust, and longing. Prior to my diagnosis and subsequent journeys through altered states, I was convinced I was straight. Raised with conservative Christian values, as a young girl I dreamt of being a Proverbs 31 woman –Continue reading “Sexuality & Bipolar: The Pride Edition”

New Therapist, New Me

Not too long ago, I began contemplating whether I needed to continue going to therapy. After a harmful situation with a therapist where I lost trust in the process, I took a hiatus exploring peer support groups and other self-care activities to maintain my wellbeing. Homebound while postpartum in a global pandemic, I re-established myContinue reading “New Therapist, New Me”

Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis

Two years into the pandemic and I finally got sick with COVID-19. While being incapacitated in bed or on the couch was not fun, getting sick allowed me to face my worst fear. Out of all the things that could happen — respiratory problems, loss of taste and smell, or the chronic fatigue and persistingContinue reading “Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis”

Maintenance is Harder

I realized that I was in the maintenance phase of my recovery when the drama disappeared and life started slowing down. I would have off days like any regular human being, but I did not know how to cope with them. I was so used to dealing with distress that I felt like I couldContinue reading “Maintenance is Harder”

Healing Journey: Depression & the Fear of Fatigue

I have a complicated relationship with rest. For several years, I refused to let myself relax in bed and binge Netflix because this felt too akin to depression. During a major depressive episode in college, I binged 11 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy in one summer sitting in alone in my bed in darkness from morningContinue reading “Healing Journey: Depression & the Fear of Fatigue”

Spoon Theory & Bipolar: A Conversation with Rebecca W. Morris

My favorite thing about social media is the ability to find kindred spirits and connect with people you would have zero chance of actually meeting in real life. One such person is Rebecca W. Morris, a disabled and chronically ill artist who lives in Spain. She reached out to me about being featured in herContinue reading “Spoon Theory & Bipolar: A Conversation with Rebecca W. Morris”