Post-COVID Fatigue

Today I emerged out of what has been a cascading wave of post-COVID fatigue after my recent experience being sick with COVID-19 for the first time. Although I was mostly recovered and tested negative almost two weeks ago, since then I have experienced a frustrating amount of lethargy. This made me face my worst fearContinue reading “Post-COVID Fatigue”

Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis

Two years into the pandemic and I finally got sick with COVID-19. While being incapacitated in bed or on the couch was not fun, getting sick allowed me to face my worst fear. Out of all the things that could happen — respiratory problems, loss of taste and smell, or the chronic fatigue and persistingContinue reading “Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis”

Healing Journey: Food & Fitness

This week was the first time since 2019 that I had been inside a gym or a group fitness space. Believe it or not, in my past life (from 2017-2019) I was actually a fitness instructor. I stopped teaching fitness classes when I got pregnant and quickly descended into my most frightening and prolonged manicContinue reading “Healing Journey: Food & Fitness”

Thinking with Octavia Butler: Prophetic Parallels between Parable & COVID-19

Octavia Butler’s dystopian novel set, Parable of the Sower (1993) in the 2020s, uncannily parallels our current sociopolitical reality. Based in California, the narrative centers teenage Lauren Oya Olamina living a world devastated by the environmental, economic, and political consequences of neoliberalism. Water is costly and scarce, all public services are privatized, and racial tensionsContinue reading “Thinking with Octavia Butler: Prophetic Parallels between Parable & COVID-19”

Is it possible to outgrow therapy?

I have been in and out of therapy for almost a decade now. Ever since my bipolar diagnosis in 2012, I have more or less stuck to the recovery regimen of religiously seeing a therapist weekly, a psychiatrist every one to three months, and taking medication daily. As I worked out the kinks in myContinue reading “Is it possible to outgrow therapy?”

Breastfeeding While Black (& Bipolar): A poem & reflections

In honor of our ancestors the enslaved wet nurses / their life-force liquified sentenced to sustain white supremacy’s offspring Now we celebrate our brown babies suckling / in our arms against our skin / on our bodies / at our breasts Liberated lactation is a revelation a revolution / nourishment only Black bodies can provideContinue reading “Breastfeeding While Black (& Bipolar): A poem & reflections”

Bipolar, Weight & the BMLie

I never really had a problem with weight gain from my bipolar meds until some months into the COVID-19 pandemic. A year prior, I was a group fitness instructor teaching Zumba and Beachbody’s TurboKick and PiYo classes multiple times a week. On top of that, I was participating in a 300 hour yoga teacher trainingContinue reading “Bipolar, Weight & the BMLie”

Thinking with Audre Lorde: The Politics of Disclosure

Since beginning my PhD in Anthropology, I’ve wrestled with how to navigate the politics of disclosure vis-à-vis my psychiatric diagnosis. I’ve been playing it safe by (mostly) keeping that part of my identity to myself. For many people, especially those with other marginalized identities, holding their mental health diagnosis to their chest is a modeContinue reading “Thinking with Audre Lorde: The Politics of Disclosure”

Coming Out (Again!)

Coming out. It wasn’t so difficult the first time. Before my last major manic depressive episode, I didn’t think my mental health diagnosis was anything to be ashamed of. I shared my diagnosis willingly with friends, family, first dates… I claimed my diagnosis on stages in front of audiences. I began speaking about it beforeContinue reading “Coming Out (Again!)”