Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis

Two years into the pandemic and I finally got sick with COVID-19. While being incapacitated in bed or on the couch was not fun, getting sick allowed me to face my worst fear. Out of all the things that could happen — respiratory problems, loss of taste and smell, or the chronic fatigue and persistingContinue reading “Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis”

Spoon Theory & Bipolar: A Conversation with Rebecca W. Morris

My favorite thing about social media is the ability to find kindred spirits and connect with people you would have zero chance of actually meeting in real life. One such person is Rebecca W. Morris, a disabled and chronically ill artist who lives in Spain. She reached out to me about being featured in herContinue reading “Spoon Theory & Bipolar: A Conversation with Rebecca W. Morris”

PSA: Perinatal Bipolar Support Group

I am incredibly excited to announce the debut of a new support group which I will co-facilitating called Bipolar Support for Perinatal Moms & Birthing People hosted by Postpartum Support International (PSI). Since not all people with wombs identify as women or mothers, this group welcomes all birthing people (parents who have carried and birthedContinue reading “PSA: Perinatal Bipolar Support Group”

Thinking with Dyane Harwood: Birth of a New Brain

Although I lived with a bipolar diagnosis years before my own crisis with mania and depression during pregnancy, I was intrigued by both the familiarity and foreignness of postpartum bipolar.* As I began to do more research, I stumbled across Dyane Harwood’s memoir Birth of a New Brain: Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder (2017). TheContinue reading “Thinking with Dyane Harwood: Birth of a New Brain”

Healing Journey: Food & Fitness

This week was the first time since 2019 that I had been inside a gym or a group fitness space. Believe it or not, in my past life (from 2017-2019) I was actually a fitness instructor. I stopped teaching fitness classes when I got pregnant and quickly descended into my most frightening and prolonged manicContinue reading “Healing Journey: Food & Fitness”

Madness & The Intuitive Mind

During this new phase of mastery in managing my mental illness, I have been struggling to make sense of extra-sensory, intuitive experiences I’ve encountered in my stability. In manic and depressive states, I am very sensitive to energy emitted from the “unseen.” I am tuned into the vibrations of the Earth through the weather andContinue reading “Madness & The Intuitive Mind”

Healing Journey: When Therapy is Harmful, Not Helpful

Trigger warning: perinatal psychiatric crisis, psychiatric incarceration, systemic violence In a previous post, I wondered if I outgrew therapy. I questioned whether I worked through or “got over” my trauma. I was ready to quit. However, instead of breaking up with my therapist, I was able to have a powerful conversation in which I realizedContinue reading “Healing Journey: When Therapy is Harmful, Not Helpful”

Missing Saturn: The Price of Stability

In An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness, psychiatrist Kay Redfield Jamison walks the reader through her journey to accepting her bipolar diagnosis and lifelong treatment which would extinguish the manic moods that brought their own thrills, comfort, and pleasures to her life. As a bipolar sufferer myself, I can personally relate toContinue reading “Missing Saturn: The Price of Stability”

Healing Journey: My Rainbow Baby

In honor of National Rainbow Baby Day Trigger warning: pregnancy loss, miscarriage, sexual trauma, obstetric violence, suicidal ideation, police brutality My rainbow baby was conceived months before she took residence in my womb. I was at a postpartum doula training learning about reproductive psychiatry for mothers with mental illness. Paige Bellenbaum from The Motherhood Center inContinue reading “Healing Journey: My Rainbow Baby”

Healing Journey: Returning to Spirituality Post-Psychosis

After my last prolonged and acute psychotic episode, I was very wary of spirituality. Upon graduating college, I took a deep dive into occult knowledge. I studied the chakra system, crystals, pendulums, tarot, astrology, numerology, alter building, spirit guides, Orishas, and ancestors. I became very in-tune with my intuition, the unseen world, and the energyContinue reading “Healing Journey: Returning to Spirituality Post-Psychosis”