Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis

Two years into the pandemic and I finally got sick with COVID-19. While being incapacitated in bed or on the couch was not fun, getting sick allowed me to face my worst fear. Out of all the things that could happen — respiratory problems, loss of taste and smell, or the chronic fatigue and persistingContinue reading “Surviving COVID-19 and the Fear of Psychosis”

Maintenance is Harder

I realized that I was in the maintenance phase of my recovery when the drama disappeared and life started slowing down. I would have off days like any regular human being, but I did not know how to cope with them. I was so used to dealing with distress that I felt like I couldContinue reading “Maintenance is Harder”

Healing Journey: Depression & the Fear of Fatigue

I have a complicated relationship with rest. For several years, I refused to let myself relax in bed and binge Netflix because this felt too akin to depression. During a major depressive episode in college, I binged 11 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy in one summer sitting in alone in my bed in darkness from morningContinue reading “Healing Journey: Depression & the Fear of Fatigue”

PSA: Perinatal Bipolar Support Group

I am incredibly excited to announce the debut of a new support group which I will co-facilitating called Bipolar Support for Perinatal Moms & Birthing People hosted by Postpartum Support International (PSI). Since not all people with wombs identify as women or mothers, this group welcomes all birthing people (parents who have carried and birthedContinue reading “PSA: Perinatal Bipolar Support Group”

Emerging Out of the Wormhole

If you follow this blog, you may have notice that I’ve fallen off my weekly posting rhythm. The last couple of weeks have been quite hellish in my head and in my household. My toddler got her first cold and came down with the terrible twos.(The tantrums and antics have been particularly pronounced!) My husband,Continue reading “Emerging Out of the Wormhole”

Healing Journey: Mid-Semester Check-In

I am a little more than half way through the first semester of my second year as an Anthropology PhD student at NYU and things are starting to get real. Since my last episode in 2019, I’ve recovered my sense of self after losing sight of who I am. I have overcome the imposter syndromeContinue reading “Healing Journey: Mid-Semester Check-In”

Missing Saturn: The Price of Stability

In An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness, psychiatrist Kay Redfield Jamison walks the reader through her journey to accepting her bipolar diagnosis and lifelong treatment which would extinguish the manic moods that brought their own thrills, comfort, and pleasures to her life. As a bipolar sufferer myself, I can personally relate toContinue reading “Missing Saturn: The Price of Stability”

Healing Journey: Returning to Spirituality Post-Psychosis

After my last prolonged and acute psychotic episode, I was very wary of spirituality. Upon graduating college, I took a deep dive into occult knowledge. I studied the chakra system, crystals, pendulums, tarot, astrology, numerology, alter building, spirit guides, Orishas, and ancestors. I became very in-tune with my intuition, the unseen world, and the energyContinue reading “Healing Journey: Returning to Spirituality Post-Psychosis”

Euthymia: Neither Manic nor Depressed

The uninformed public may believe that people with bipolar disorder are volatile constantly, swinging between mania and depression, but this mischaracterizes our actual lived experience. In fact, those of us who have received a correct diagnose and are following a treatment plan experience a stable mood known as euthymia. Stemming from the Greek word forContinue reading “Euthymia: Neither Manic nor Depressed”

Chasing ‘Normal’ | Seeking Stability

The Oxford Dictionary defines recovery as “a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.” But what is a normal mental state? The biomedical model of mental illness has tried to convince us that binaries — normal and abnormal, stable and unstable, sane and insane — exist. Proponents of the recovery model reinforceContinue reading “Chasing ‘Normal’ | Seeking Stability”